I See Her, I Chase Her; She's Faster, She's Gone

There are beginner swimmers found on the shallow end with tubes, floats and anxious faces;  there are average swimmers who splash everyone ten feet of them but they make it to the deep side; then there are superior swimmers. Everyday I go to the club for a swim with an inflated, fat ego because I own the throne of the fastest swimmer in the superior category. Everyday I smirk away - then I see her.

I saw her today for the first time. I have no recollection of her face; I can't see my toes without my contacts. I looked at her swim and my first thought was "Is she better?!". She tore the water beautifully as she swam. I was catching my breath between swimming lengths but never saw her stop to catch hers. I knew I had to chase her.

I swam and swam till my legs screamed in protest and my lungs felt raw. I couldn't stop as I didn't see her stopping. My freestyle started to get sloppy as my energy sapped. I gulped down some water. I had finished my customary lengths in half the time I normally do but I would not give up; I finished off six more. My half hour was up; I had to get out.

I looked around for her but I knew she had left: I was the pool Queen again and there were only average or slow swimmers in the Deep now. I looked for her in the changing rooms but didn't sense her. I wondered if she'd been looking for me and then I felt foolish. She was better than I was - why would she?

I felt threatened. Then I felt exhilarated. 

I look forward to swimming tomorrow as I have to do better. Swimming is a challenge finally: I have found competition.  

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Thoughts That Stay With You

I have been unable to post anything in the past few days as my brother was visiting and my brain was too busy between retrieving really old childhood memories to share and conjuring mindless tricks to pester him with. As I said, too busy. So now that he's gone back home, I'm here. This post has been birthed from all that nostalgia. 

Whether you heard them from your mum, the bully at school, your favorite TV actor, your teacher or you read them off the internet or the back of a bus, there are some things that define the way you understand stuff around you and the way you react to them. They alter your belief system. To find yours, think of your About Mes, your email signatures, your Facebook statuses or your daily recite-to-self mantra. Here are some of mine:

On Social Interactions

Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company. (Hazrat Ali)

Great people talk about ideas.
Average people talk about things.
Small people talk about other people. 

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

On Self Discovery

Be your own biggest critic.

If there is even a single thing you learnt from an experience, it was worth experiencing.

Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am. (Alanis Morisette)

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

On Life

What goes around, comes around.

Empathy is more meaningful than sympathy.

When you're laughing too much, there is some crying right ahead: when you cry too much, happiness is sure to follow. Life's like that.   


Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time. (Hazrat Ali) 

Change Your Life...By Changing Your Hair Color?

After submitting my resignation at the bank, the first thing I did was got my hair color changed. 

Three hours later, I was back at the office to sign the handing/taking over docs and got some pretty flattering reviews. I was feeling fantastic about my (impulsive) decision when a friend commented that women generally change something drastically about themselves when they are going through some sort of emotional turmoil or significant life change; this, she said, is our way of dealing with or creating change. That pricked my little bubble of euphoria. It was time for self-confrontation: 

"Prepare, already. Things are going to change; there is going to be uncertainty. Won't have a monthly income credited on the 25th anymore. Will not have a reason to get out of bed till midday but won't have an excuse to slather my eyes with kajal either. Pushed yourself out of the rut you did, but there is every chance you will fall right back, stuck in a deeper one this time."

Now I go over my behavior and see a pattern: When I got engaged, I got a nose piercing. After a tragic miscarriage, I changed my last name on Facebook and started using my husband's. After having my daughter, I cut my hair and got a bob. I plan to get colored contacts marking the advent of a new career. 

Do you recall that movie where a woman chopped off her hair right after she finds herself in the dumps and just before she's taking a life-changing step? Is it some sort of defense mechanism, Freudian displacement perhaps, to deal with the situation; or it could be that we try to get back into the driving seat of our lives, by proving that we choose the direction and the results. Or we simply make an outward, visible change to mark our success in an internal battle... I'm still working on this.

Ponder, Yonder 

"A woman who cuts her hair, is about to change her life?" 

(Coco Before Chanel)

   
 

  

P.S. I cannot think of any concrete reason for any of the abovementioned actions. Then, they felt right. For the record, I do not regret them now.  

P.P.S. Completely irrelevant to the topic but Google (Blogger) does not accept Facebook as a word. They do hate each other. Lemme check Word....OK, Google accepted, Facebook not.   

 

Killing Me Verbosely

Three times I have read that Facebook status and still cannot understand what he is trying to say; considering there is use of multiple adjectives, pronouns, prepositions, synonyms of everything, synonyms of synonyms, ... I feel muddle-headed. Of one thing I am certain: there is an easier way of expression, in the same language.

It would be horrid of me to link pages here but I'm sure you know people who just kill you with abstruse abuse of lexemes...! The Free Dictionary defines verbosity as "Using or containing a great and usually an excessive number of words" De-verbosing: Too many unnecessary words.

The aim of verbosity seems to be to impress the reader with the variety and width of language use; the indirect goal is to make the reader feel dumb...eh, dumbfounded by the wordy 'intellect'. The more popular aim of writing i.e. to be read and understood is lost between all the words. I often find friends who are impressed with verbose writing, mostly for the reason that it takes them two or three attempts to understand the piece, erroneously assuming the deficiency is theirs and not the writer's. This has nothing to do with the content. It is also worth pondering that the more well-read a person, the more she is likely to diagnose verbosity correctly. 

Verbosity cannot make its way into popular published writing for multiple reasons: a) it is ineffective, b) does not make a good read, and c) the editor successfully shoots down any attempt at it by the writer. It is, however, as popular as the word 'cool' in informal writing (see Facebook or Twitter). If I had App-writing skills, I would create a Verbosity Striker app and make gabimillions off it. 

Make no mistake, I was an ardent verboser myself. Thank God for a writing teacher I had at university who calmly and effectively, with subtle put-downs, forced me to declutter my writing. The problem is not always length - sometimes you just need to use many words. The efforts should be directed not at Concise, but Precise... Or more precisely, Eloquence. The only point one really needs to take home: write to be read and understood easily by others. 

My Love Affair...with Online Shopping

I have seen many ups and downs personally in the past couple of years and I have learnt something very important about life: While there is no guarantee when a 'down' will sneak up on you, one thing ensuring a quick and complete up is - without a doubt and with little competition - online shopping.

Sitting on your trusted computer, on your favorite chair, with some soft music going on in the background for some additional zang, you can quickly reach the product that you want (or read enough reviews on it to convince yourself that you really do want it), one click and voila: The UP!

If you're a fellow believer of Retail Therapy, I'm sure you know what I am talking about. I do am one of the biggest fans of non-virtual and window shopping but shopping online has its own benefits: Apart from being the quickest shot of up, online shopping allows you to compare products to find the best deals and ensures you have a wide range of options (and more retailers that stock those options). I view the supposed downside of not having the product immediately in my hands as an opportunity to undo my buying decision (with yet another click and no unnecessary bukbuk with the salesperson) should I be struck with severe bouts of post-purchase dissonance. The excitement, the yearning and the high of online shopping last until you get your hands on the product*. :) 

I *heart* Amazon, even though they do not deliver here. I recently purchased the Kindle and have requested a friend to bring it for me. I'm still riding on the high, even though Amazon took over two weeks to deliver it to my friend (!), and another two weeks for it to reach me. With real-life shopping, the high would have been fleeting. Hmmm... For international shipping, I recommend My American Shopper. For local shopping, enjoy Home Shopping.

Happy shopping, you!

*Assuming you made a smart buying decision, now the excitement over the product itself should start.

Have Put on Weight. Don't need it. Now What?

There are fewer things worse for a woman than finding herself in the middle of a WEIGHT problem. You all agree, don't you? There's nothing anybody else can do about it - this problem you have to fix yourself single-handedly. You want immediate results (ha, not happening); you're mighty unwilling to rethink your food intake or to attribute to your favorite foods the burden of being responsible for your hyperinflated weight. But mostly you're in denial about the accuracy of your scale...My scale just showed me five pounds heavier. My extent of denial is such that I refuse to believe three kilos converted into pounds is... not five pounds but SIX POINT SIX POUNDS, ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDIN ME?! Wait, I'll be back...

Ok back - I got so upset I just went down to the fridge to have a cold Oreo. I plan to go to my friend's house tonight to check my weight again. That horrible scale did this to me when I was feeling especially slim today. The bloody machine - whose idea was it to put it on the bathroom floor, in my line of sight, anyway?

Five hours have gone since my last edit on this post. I have come to terms, with extreme reluctance, that my weight is indeed increased (again). I lost all my pregnancy weight but my pre-pregnancy weight per se left much to be desired. My immediate plan of action:

1. Tomatoes and lettuce are in; Oreo and Pasta are (so) out. Revise grocery list as well: no fizzy drinks or chips and everything else low-fat. No junk on the list = no junk on the butt.
2. More water and more fiber.
3. Renew membership at the club. Can't regularly gym so ..swim!
   
4. Quit stuffing myself like there's no tomorrow at breakfast. (Note to self: Just because breakfasting is the most important mealing activity doesn't mean you eat for three people)
   
5. Invest in some body shaping lingerie (reality check!)
6. Think while moving/dancing/walking: sitting and thinking no more!
7. Increase no. of times I eat; decrease the quantity.
8. Manage cravings: 
• Something hot: Tea or hot chocolate (I like both unsweetened)
• Something cold: Lemonade
• Something sweet: Fruits e.g. Kiwi or guava. Or nuzzle a baby's neck (YUM!)
• Quick snack: Bran bread with your favorite low-fat spread (Find one, if you haven't already)
• Anything terrifying full of fat: Make a smoothie with fruit, skimmed milk and low-fat yogurt. Or an espresso or butterscotch brownie. Or Potato Wedges. All of these fill you up and are not THAT calamitous to your bum as their relatives i.e. regular shakes, brownies and fries are. Or you can always try and distract yourself with one of the tricks mentioned here.  

I love my food; even if I try I just cannot give it up. I was very careful with what I ate during my pregnancy: avoiding sugar additions and most fats, gaining 20lbs and losing it all within a month postpartum. I think now I'm subconsciously making it all up. :S Those of you who are like me please note that it is important to manage the food rather than cutting the intake altogether because the latter will not help you maintain your weight.

I'll post an update in a month about what the hateful weighing scale says.

Have fun, you! =)

When You Just Can't Seem to Catch it, Take a Break

Having the MOMMA of all crappy days? Woke up very late after five hours of very disturbed sleep, skipped breakfast as forgot to pick up milk last night, baby's up and needs to be fed, bathed and changed, kitchen's in upheaval after last night's cooking, laundry awaits, maid's not in yet again so another day with about everything in sight dirty, baby just doesn't want to be left alone and wails till the neighbor's call up...done with round one of the day's chores when baby's diaper leaked all over her bed and you've run out of sterlized bottles...the kitchen's dirty again after lunch...won't-go-to-sleep-on-my-own Mia's crying again...oh BREAK, when are you available and when can I catch you?!

Don't you often find yourself with just too much work, too many important or random things that need your attention and when you think you're about done, something new pops up? Even putting your index finger to your temple and letting go of the trigger isn't fun anymore. All you want now to do is sit in a quiet corner and hog up a bowl of your favorite pasta?

Thats actually the worst thing you can do. The joy is short-lived; the calories aren't. You do have three better options: work up your mind, exercise your body and/or busy your hands.

Listen to a chirpy song:  
Music moves you like nothing else. Bitch by Meredith Brooks or Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye are perfect for some mood-pepping, with lyrics of course. I do not recommend sap in this situation at all; that will only dampen your spirits. Unless you want to see a forlornly song* on YouTube and feel good about your life after reading the viewer comments. =)

Look at a vibrant or colorful thing:

I would prefer looking at a colorful bunch of flowers or my collection of mugs rather than a brightly colored wall. BUT whatever works for you. If you're totally stumped, stir in some green to your surroundings.

Read Your Favorite Romance

Or just your favorite scene in the book. One of my favorites by Susan Elizabeth Phillips is Ain't She Sweet? and I can count on any random page in the book to put a smile on my face. 

Watch Reruns of the Royal Wedding (Balcony Scene)
OK honestly, I haven't tried this myself. But when the Wedding was live on TV, I had no intention of watching it and was in a crappy mood for some reason that I forget now. So I watched it because I did not want to do anything else. After the balcony kisses, I was a fairytale believer again. 

Shake what your Momma gave ya

My dislike for the above phrase aside, DO dance, exercise, mop the floor, jump on the bed - anything that gets you moving. That will loosen up those muscles and your mental clutter too. 

Watch an episode of the The Big Bang Theory Season 4

I wouldn't watch anything else (except something in the same genre) because there is a risk of some character pissing you off even more (Vanessa in Gossip Girl, barf!)

Catch Up on Your Knitting

Practiced and mundane activities, such as knitting or peeling potatoes, are very relaxing. Your mind automatically relaxes with successful completion of "step one, step two, step three, repeat". Ironing works wonders for me. 

There are countless other things that you can do (I can add to the list, let me know) but the above are tried and tested. And also do not put any additional hassle on your already fried brain. Summing up, you gotta give yourself at least half an hour to get back on track and for the wonders to kick in. Ask someone to look after your gorgeous baby for half an hour or if you can't, like me, pick an option from the above that you can do with her. 

Good luck, sweets!

*I LOVE Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, in case you watched the YouTube video linked. Just not when...you know, see first paragraph. :)

Mother's Day - Thoughts

Dear Mum,

Four years ago, I couldn't wait to move out of the house so I could live independently and run things the way that I wanted. Now I spend a great many happy hours devising excuses to land at your place, which I think of as five-star vacationing. I think of the pair of jeans you altered for me in a tight deadline of 5 minutes, my favourite rice that you cook even though it takes half the day, the temper tantrums you still shrug off, half my summer wardrobe that you purchase (eerie how you understand my style), the nightly glass of milk I always forget but you never do... I could go on but you wouldn't be moved - these gestures come so naturally to you; they mean the world to me.

In throes of introspection I realise how much like you I am, and how fortunate that makes me. I love you, you know.

Yours.

Fonts Fetish - Good or bad?

Playing around is rarely a good idea. With fonts, I mean. It proves to be quite as bad as fighting chocolate temptation: just one more font style... and perhaps a little one here too. The Calibri looks too much like Cambria so it really does not make a difference if I surreptitiously slip that one in as well. Not going near Arial or Times New Roman - oh look, they have a Disney font!!

Fonting Away

I love to play with fonts - all sizes, shapes, cursivenesses and angles. I love it when I am not restricted by a particular font in my writing - if nothing else, I'll change the font of the page number to appease my font fetish. Almost each of my posts is a different font (somehow). Fun and fetish aside, could the use of more exciting fonts be distracting to the reader? Or does it add more to the personality of the written piece itself? The 'law' apparently is no more than three fonts in one body of work. Hmm?

I recommend:

For longer write-ups, use two to three complementary fonts for heading, body and any paragraphs you would want the reader to shift focus to. If you're like me, you would want to read something in Century Gothic more than you would like Arial. For a single body of text, do stick to one font as too many can be distracting. Keep the mood in mind do: for example, I wouldn't like Arial (I really do despise it) or Times New Roman (TOO Academic) for a more personal doc. 

For shorter posts - meaning two of them can sneak into the screen space - stick to two fonts: one for the body and one for the heading. More can risk making your work seem too much of a hotchpotch.

Matching your fonts with the topic under discussion is essential. I would also recommend using a lighter background and a stronger font colour for blog posts, especially long ones, as they are easier to read. Your font choices do tell the reader about your personality so have four or five favourites handy. The safe side is always...well safe but adventurism takes you places. :)

Happy fonting up!

Perfect Tea for Hot Weather

It must be over 40 degrees Celsius outside. I stepped out of my air conditioned room for ten minutes and I know I have lost 2 kilos from sweating. You see, I had to make myself a cup of tea.

I had never been a tea drinker nor could I make a decent cup to save my life (although the thought of dying over a cup of foul tasting tea does hurt my sensibilities). My father, mother, sister, neighbour, aunts (maternal and paternal), friends and one stranger or two - they all tried to teach me to make that one perfect cup but all collectively failed. The reason of failure was not my unwillingness to learn but rather my complete cluelessness about what actually is the perfect tea.  

The perfect Pakistani tea is a direct descendant of the English Tea, with some variation in the quantities of tea leaves (patti) and milk, and some embellishments. We still have the afternoon tea, although it is more of an evening tea now. Here are some methods for the perfect cup of Tea:

l. Put 3/4th cup water in a pan and let it simmer. Add one teaspoonful of tea in the water and let it cook. When the solution is just reaching a boil, add around 1/4th cup of milk, reduce heat and let it cook. The quantity of milk can be increased or decreased. The end result should be a gorgeous, slightly thick honey brown coloured Tea. Strain. Enjoy it hot. (This should take you less than five minutes once you've got the hang of it; cooking slow can take this as long as 30 minutes, if you're expecting to serve later)

2. Another way of making the same type of tea is to add tea, milk and water together and let everything cook until the desired colour and consistency is reached.  Strain and enjoy.

3. For added zest, you can add 1 cardamom or a small piece of ginger to the hot water (proceed as mentioned above). Ginger is especially zesty when the weather's cold. Masala chai is another variation, although not as common as Dhoodh Patti (No.1) in Pakistan.

4. Another method I've been taught (the more English way): Boil water. In a tea pot, add one teaspoonful of tea. Add the water and let it sit, covered with a teacosy. Strain and add warm milk when serving. This kind is stronger in flavour. (Infusion of tea should take at least five minutes)

5. Quickest Microwave-Sachet way: Fill a cup 3/4th way with water and microwave for one minute 20 seconds. Add the sachet and darken your tea as desired. Warm or powdered milk and you're good to go. (2 minutes - tops!)

There you have it. I'm sure your family has their own tea methods. The trick is - you gotta like it yourself. Honey, if you think you make the best cup even when you don't like tea yourself, no offense and all love, but think again please. You'll know you've got it right when you can actually tell bad tea from good and good tea from oh-my-God-awesome tea. The connoisseurs and the novices - happy ODing on tea. :)

Have fun!

And we're back!

Mia says hello.

So much has happened since my last (and first) post. I am a mum now. My daughter is going to be a happy 7 month old in two days! I believe I can be forgiven for my disappearance now - I did have a valid reason. The pregnancy was eventful at times and bizarre at some others. Waking up in the middle of the night three or four times is not uncommon at all; but lying in wait to feel that one magical kick (of Reassurance) before even moving to the other side - well that is extremely, unbelievably not uncommon. But, more on the pregnancy some time later. Soon. :)

I have been busy with other things besides being pregnant and being a mom, by the way. The house is (not so much, really) functional. I am constantly restocking my pantry and have yet to establish a formula that will save me a weekly (biweekly to be more precise) visit to the grocery store. I am perfecting that one out and will update you on that soon. Have a cortexful of things to update here.

So as I was saying, my happy daughter is getting bigger everyday. How do I know she's happy? Well, a normal happy human being is supposed to smile and be friendly (read jump up and down) when they like something and make a specific sad, droopy face when they do not. Right? So yes, my baby is a person and I can say with quite some certainty that she is a happy little girl :) It was a couple of weeks ago that I began listening to people tell me that my daughter seemed to be losing weight. Fewer things are more tragic for a mother: the weight that was earned with so much effort - every ounce felt and counted - is decreasing.

After the hue and cry that I have to make for every unperfect comment I hear about Mia, my rational mind did kick in: It is impossible for a well-fed baby to lose weight. Yes she could have grown taller and shifted that weight around from her chubby thighs to her longer legs. And yes, it might be that she was gaining weight but at a slower pace than before - slowing growth rate, so to speak. My consequent trip to the doctor confirmed both. Relax, already!

Some useful tips for fattening her up: 

• Try increasing the quantity you give her as a first step. I am already giving her more than three tablespoons at one meal and she gorges it up. 
• Then increase the number of meals you give her: from one to two, two to three. At her age that is the limit, though. 
• You can also add a bit of olive oil to her cereal. 
• Also, gradually start lacing up her food with with some fruits (apple, banana and pear are great options). If you're worried she will become a sweet-tooth...please, do not. If she loves fruit when she's older, she'll be a happier person. 
• Another old-wives tale (which I have tried myself): add some butter when you're boiling rice for her.

Feed frequently and make sure she has fulfilled her caloric requirement for the day when she hits her crib at night. Most important of all: make extra effort to make her an even happier little girl.

Have fun!