The Five Life Lessons My Baby Taught Me

Babies are extremely fascinating. Everyone knows that. You put a baby in a roomful of people and within ten minutes, every single person in the room will quit what they're doing to look at the baby make spit bubbles.

While spit-bubble-making is one skill babies (read we) never forget, there are some important life lessons that they/we do. Watching my baby girl grow older, I wish she would always remember these.

Wouldn't it be loverly?!

What a brilliant scene, don't you think? This movie happens to be based on one of my most enjoyed plot lines i.e. the ugly duckling turned swan. That has indeed been done to death by the now but this remains one of the most appealing adaptations. And this movie also marks the beginning of my unwavering love for Audrey Hepburn when I first saw it around ten years ago. Tiffany's came later for me. :) In the (unlikely) circumstance that you don't love Hepburn already, this movie is highly recommended as the first for you. And if you're in the same club as me, what's better than to reminisce and enjoy!

("Henry: Mother!

Mrs. Higgins: What is it, Henry? What's happened?

Henry Higgins: She's gone.

Mrs. Higgins: Well, of course, dear, what did you expect?

Henry Higgins: What... what am I to do?

Mrs. Higgins: Do without, I suppose.

Henry Higgins: And so I shall! If the Higgins oxygen burns up her little lungs, let her seek some stuffiness that suits her. She's an owl sickened by a few days of my sunshine. Very well, let her go, I can do without her. I can do without anyone. I have my own soul! My own spark of divine fire!

Mrs. Higgins: Bravo, Eliza."

Scrumptiously Cream Cheesed and Marbled!

My husband and I have the following conversation once every week:

"BTW, I invited them over," he says.

*Drat!* "We'll be serving dinner?," I say.

"Not dinner. Something light. With coffee."

"What does that mean, something 'light'?"

"You know...".

"No! Is that phone call really important right now--"

Grr.. Over the years I have developed an intense love-hate relationship with this conversation. I hate it as it gives me reason to be nervous, but I love it because the get-together eventually always turns out to be successful. I can get what you're wondering: The vague instructions make me nervous, of course. It is absolutely essential that you have your list of Top Three on-the-go sweet and (three) savory items. After doing the lemon flan to death, I recently replaced it with yummy Cream Cheese Marble Brownies on my sweets list. I discovered this recipe in a book called Cake Mix Magic (Favorite Brand Name) 

Date at the Hardware Store

The amount of metal and color-void in there makes makes me claustrophobic; I have no use in my life for so many nuts, bolts, tubes and yabadity with peculiar angles and prosaic functions - or so I had thought. I rethank the unthinkable when I made a visit to the hardware store with my husband today. A hardware shop is to a man what a shoe store is to a woman: The jaw-numbing, finger-curling greed to touch and own everything in sight.

My Love Affair...with Bell Peppers

From my breakfast eggs to my dinner rice, from salads to chicken karahi (soups and pasta!), bell peppers have been creeping their way into my cooking too much. For the past month, a day has not passed that I haven't had them in one form or another. At any given time I have a superbly-well-replenished stock of bell peppers in my refrigerator's vegetable rack. A carefully halved bell pepper adorns the central shelf of the fridge at all times too, waiting to be sliced/julienned/diced and consumed - the other half I have already eaten. My skill with the knife has improved immensely with all the slicing and dicing and julienning of bell peppers I have been doing recently. 

Bell peppers are botanically fruits but are considered to be vegetables by most. They add zest to just about anything but the combination of chicken, cheese and bell peppers can kill with intense savory overload. Boiled, baked, sauted - they make my food look and taste hot. I'm not getting over this love affair any time soon.  

The Phantom (Very Satisfactorily) Revisited

While having an active imagination has many benefits, having one on overdrive can be a major pain in the hindquarters too. You tend to demand answers to just too many questions from the writer of a book or director of a movie. The frustration is almost palpable. The creators bank on this imagination to answer the unanswered but that backfires for me all too often. This explains why the very last scene of Titanic saved me from crumbling with heartbreak and the last page of Gone with the Wind left me depressed for an entire week. No doubt that's also the reason for Scarlett. 
Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera irks me to no end: Too many questions, too many ifs-buts and just too darn much left to the imagination. So when I recently came upon Susan Kay's Phantom, I, with shaking fingers and a heartful of optimistic anticipation, clicked to download it on my Kindle. 

Oh, what a delightful ride! Very similar to the extremely single experience of watching a fantastic movie of your favorite book. To say that it appeased me is not enough: it combined wit and emotion with flowing writing to create a beautiful journey that should have been Erik's life. For my romantic self, who savors sitting awake all night reading beautiful stories of strong men with tragic pasts who find love and redemption, this book was the complete package. If you're a Phantom enthusiast, you must pick up this book for the weekend to explore what is possibly beneath the "tip of the iceberg" of Erik's person, as the author puts it. It was a quick and satisfying read for me. I don't plan on reviewing it here; I'll just add some quotes I highlighted while reading. 

Erik bound like an animal in a cage: "I am still unable to explain that strange mental paralysis, except to acknowledge that the mind is capable of erecting barriers far stronger than any physical fence. Such is the key to all illusion, and God knows it was a key I learned to turn often enough on others. For me, at that moment, the illusion of captivity was so complete that even had he left the door unbarred I sometimes wonder whether I should not still have sat there, staring through the bars, like a hopeless chained animal who knows no better than to wait patiently and endure."

Erik's scruples on killing women: "...by and large they were unworthy prey, women, fragile creatures who already seemed created to endure too much suffering; cruel husbands, childbirth, and early death… And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!"

Erik attempting to frighten Christine: "I seem to remember how very little it takes to frighten you, Christine. But you really shouldn't be frightened of Death. He's very approachable, really, not at all aloof, never passes by on the other side of the road simply because he's not been introduced. He makes no distinctions of class… a flea-bitten rat or a beautiful princess, it's all the same to Death. But of course, like anyone else he enjoys a little novelty in his work. It helps to pass the time."

Happy, scrumptious reading!

I See Her, I Chase Her; She's Faster, She's Gone

There are beginner swimmers found on the shallow end with tubes, floats and anxious faces;  there are average swimmers who splash everyone ten feet of them but they make it to the deep side; then there are superior swimmers. Everyday I go to the club for a swim with an inflated, fat ego because I own the throne of the fastest swimmer in the superior category. Everyday I smirk away - then I see her.

I saw her today for the first time. I have no recollection of her face; I can't see my toes without my contacts. I looked at her swim and my first thought was "Is she better?!". She tore the water beautifully as she swam. I was catching my breath between swimming lengths but never saw her stop to catch hers. I knew I had to chase her.

I swam and swam till my legs screamed in protest and my lungs felt raw. I couldn't stop as I didn't see her stopping. My freestyle started to get sloppy as my energy sapped. I gulped down some water. I had finished my customary lengths in half the time I normally do but I would not give up; I finished off six more. My half hour was up; I had to get out.

I looked around for her but I knew she had left: I was the pool Queen again and there were only average or slow swimmers in the Deep now. I looked for her in the changing rooms but didn't sense her. I wondered if she'd been looking for me and then I felt foolish. She was better than I was - why would she?

I felt threatened. Then I felt exhilarated. 

I look forward to swimming tomorrow as I have to do better. Swimming is a challenge finally: I have found competition.  

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Thoughts That Stay With You

I have been unable to post anything in the past few days as my brother was visiting and my brain was too busy between retrieving really old childhood memories to share and conjuring mindless tricks to pester him with. As I said, too busy. So now that he's gone back home, I'm here. This post has been birthed from all that nostalgia. 

Whether you heard them from your mum, the bully at school, your favorite TV actor, your teacher or you read them off the internet or the back of a bus, there are some things that define the way you understand stuff around you and the way you react to them. They alter your belief system. To find yours, think of your About Mes, your email signatures, your Facebook statuses or your daily recite-to-self mantra. Here are some of mine:

On Social Interactions

Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company. (Hazrat Ali)

Great people talk about ideas.
Average people talk about things.
Small people talk about other people. 

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

On Self Discovery

Be your own biggest critic.

If there is even a single thing you learnt from an experience, it was worth experiencing.

Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am. (Alanis Morisette)

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

On Life

What goes around, comes around.

Empathy is more meaningful than sympathy.

When you're laughing too much, there is some crying right ahead: when you cry too much, happiness is sure to follow. Life's like that.   


Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time. (Hazrat Ali) 

Change Your Life...By Changing Your Hair Color?

After submitting my resignation at the bank, the first thing I did was got my hair color changed. 

Three hours later, I was back at the office to sign the handing/taking over docs and got some pretty flattering reviews. I was feeling fantastic about my (impulsive) decision when a friend commented that women generally change something drastically about themselves when they are going through some sort of emotional turmoil or significant life change; this, she said, is our way of dealing with or creating change. That pricked my little bubble of euphoria. It was time for self-confrontation: 

"Prepare, already. Things are going to change; there is going to be uncertainty. Won't have a monthly income credited on the 25th anymore. Will not have a reason to get out of bed till midday but won't have an excuse to slather my eyes with kajal either. Pushed yourself out of the rut you did, but there is every chance you will fall right back, stuck in a deeper one this time."

Now I go over my behavior and see a pattern: When I got engaged, I got a nose piercing. After a tragic miscarriage, I changed my last name on Facebook and started using my husband's. After having my daughter, I cut my hair and got a bob. I plan to get colored contacts marking the advent of a new career. 

Do you recall that movie where a woman chopped off her hair right after she finds herself in the dumps and just before she's taking a life-changing step? Is it some sort of defense mechanism, Freudian displacement perhaps, to deal with the situation; or it could be that we try to get back into the driving seat of our lives, by proving that we choose the direction and the results. Or we simply make an outward, visible change to mark our success in an internal battle... I'm still working on this.

Ponder, Yonder 

"A woman who cuts her hair, is about to change her life?" 

(Coco Before Chanel)

   
 

  

P.S. I cannot think of any concrete reason for any of the abovementioned actions. Then, they felt right. For the record, I do not regret them now.  

P.P.S. Completely irrelevant to the topic but Google (Blogger) does not accept Facebook as a word. They do hate each other. Lemme check Word....OK, Google accepted, Facebook not.   

 

Killing Me Verbosely

Three times I have read that Facebook status and still cannot understand what he is trying to say; considering there is use of multiple adjectives, pronouns, prepositions, synonyms of everything, synonyms of synonyms, ... I feel muddle-headed. Of one thing I am certain: there is an easier way of expression, in the same language.

It would be horrid of me to link pages here but I'm sure you know people who just kill you with abstruse abuse of lexemes...! The Free Dictionary defines verbosity as "Using or containing a great and usually an excessive number of words" De-verbosing: Too many unnecessary words.

The aim of verbosity seems to be to impress the reader with the variety and width of language use; the indirect goal is to make the reader feel dumb...eh, dumbfounded by the wordy 'intellect'. The more popular aim of writing i.e. to be read and understood is lost between all the words. I often find friends who are impressed with verbose writing, mostly for the reason that it takes them two or three attempts to understand the piece, erroneously assuming the deficiency is theirs and not the writer's. This has nothing to do with the content. It is also worth pondering that the more well-read a person, the more she is likely to diagnose verbosity correctly. 

Verbosity cannot make its way into popular published writing for multiple reasons: a) it is ineffective, b) does not make a good read, and c) the editor successfully shoots down any attempt at it by the writer. It is, however, as popular as the word 'cool' in informal writing (see Facebook or Twitter). If I had App-writing skills, I would create a Verbosity Striker app and make gabimillions off it. 

Make no mistake, I was an ardent verboser myself. Thank God for a writing teacher I had at university who calmly and effectively, with subtle put-downs, forced me to declutter my writing. The problem is not always length - sometimes you just need to use many words. The efforts should be directed not at Concise, but Precise... Or more precisely, Eloquence. The only point one really needs to take home: write to be read and understood easily by others. 

My Love Affair...with Online Shopping

I have seen many ups and downs personally in the past couple of years and I have learnt something very important about life: While there is no guarantee when a 'down' will sneak up on you, one thing ensuring a quick and complete up is - without a doubt and with little competition - online shopping.

Sitting on your trusted computer, on your favorite chair, with some soft music going on in the background for some additional zang, you can quickly reach the product that you want (or read enough reviews on it to convince yourself that you really do want it), one click and voila: The UP!

If you're a fellow believer of Retail Therapy, I'm sure you know what I am talking about. I do am one of the biggest fans of non-virtual and window shopping but shopping online has its own benefits: Apart from being the quickest shot of up, online shopping allows you to compare products to find the best deals and ensures you have a wide range of options (and more retailers that stock those options). I view the supposed downside of not having the product immediately in my hands as an opportunity to undo my buying decision (with yet another click and no unnecessary bukbuk with the salesperson) should I be struck with severe bouts of post-purchase dissonance. The excitement, the yearning and the high of online shopping last until you get your hands on the product*. :) 

I *heart* Amazon, even though they do not deliver here. I recently purchased the Kindle and have requested a friend to bring it for me. I'm still riding on the high, even though Amazon took over two weeks to deliver it to my friend (!), and another two weeks for it to reach me. With real-life shopping, the high would have been fleeting. Hmmm... For international shipping, I recommend My American Shopper. For local shopping, enjoy Home Shopping.

Happy shopping, you!

*Assuming you made a smart buying decision, now the excitement over the product itself should start.

Have Put on Weight. Don't need it. Now What?

There are fewer things worse for a woman than finding herself in the middle of a WEIGHT problem. You all agree, don't you? There's nothing anybody else can do about it - this problem you have to fix yourself single-handedly. You want immediate results (ha, not happening); you're mighty unwilling to rethink your food intake or to attribute to your favorite foods the burden of being responsible for your hyperinflated weight. But mostly you're in denial about the accuracy of your scale...My scale just showed me five pounds heavier. My extent of denial is such that I refuse to believe three kilos converted into pounds is... not five pounds but SIX POINT SIX POUNDS, ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDIN ME?! Wait, I'll be back...

Ok back - I got so upset I just went down to the fridge to have a cold Oreo. I plan to go to my friend's house tonight to check my weight again. That horrible scale did this to me when I was feeling especially slim today. The bloody machine - whose idea was it to put it on the bathroom floor, in my line of sight, anyway?

Five hours have gone since my last edit on this post. I have come to terms, with extreme reluctance, that my weight is indeed increased (again). I lost all my pregnancy weight but my pre-pregnancy weight per se left much to be desired. My immediate plan of action:

1. Tomatoes and lettuce are in; Oreo and Pasta are (so) out. Revise grocery list as well: no fizzy drinks or chips and everything else low-fat. No junk on the list = no junk on the butt.
2. More water and more fiber.
3. Renew membership at the club. Can't regularly gym so ..swim!
   
4. Quit stuffing myself like there's no tomorrow at breakfast. (Note to self: Just because breakfasting is the most important mealing activity doesn't mean you eat for three people)
   
5. Invest in some body shaping lingerie (reality check!)
6. Think while moving/dancing/walking: sitting and thinking no more!
7. Increase no. of times I eat; decrease the quantity.
8. Manage cravings: 
• Something hot: Tea or hot chocolate (I like both unsweetened)
• Something cold: Lemonade
• Something sweet: Fruits e.g. Kiwi or guava. Or nuzzle a baby's neck (YUM!)
• Quick snack: Bran bread with your favorite low-fat spread (Find one, if you haven't already)
• Anything terrifying full of fat: Make a smoothie with fruit, skimmed milk and low-fat yogurt. Or an espresso or butterscotch brownie. Or Potato Wedges. All of these fill you up and are not THAT calamitous to your bum as their relatives i.e. regular shakes, brownies and fries are. Or you can always try and distract yourself with one of the tricks mentioned here.  

I love my food; even if I try I just cannot give it up. I was very careful with what I ate during my pregnancy: avoiding sugar additions and most fats, gaining 20lbs and losing it all within a month postpartum. I think now I'm subconsciously making it all up. :S Those of you who are like me please note that it is important to manage the food rather than cutting the intake altogether because the latter will not help you maintain your weight.

I'll post an update in a month about what the hateful weighing scale says.

Have fun, you! =)

When You Just Can't Seem to Catch it, Take a Break

Having the MOMMA of all crappy days? Woke up very late after five hours of very disturbed sleep, skipped breakfast as forgot to pick up milk last night, baby's up and needs to be fed, bathed and changed, kitchen's in upheaval after last night's cooking, laundry awaits, maid's not in yet again so another day with about everything in sight dirty, baby just doesn't want to be left alone and wails till the neighbor's call up...done with round one of the day's chores when baby's diaper leaked all over her bed and you've run out of sterlized bottles...the kitchen's dirty again after lunch...won't-go-to-sleep-on-my-own Mia's crying again...oh BREAK, when are you available and when can I catch you?!

Don't you often find yourself with just too much work, too many important or random things that need your attention and when you think you're about done, something new pops up? Even putting your index finger to your temple and letting go of the trigger isn't fun anymore. All you want now to do is sit in a quiet corner and hog up a bowl of your favorite pasta?

Thats actually the worst thing you can do. The joy is short-lived; the calories aren't. You do have three better options: work up your mind, exercise your body and/or busy your hands.

Listen to a chirpy song:  
Music moves you like nothing else. Bitch by Meredith Brooks or Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye are perfect for some mood-pepping, with lyrics of course. I do not recommend sap in this situation at all; that will only dampen your spirits. Unless you want to see a forlornly song* on YouTube and feel good about your life after reading the viewer comments. =)

Look at a vibrant or colorful thing:

I would prefer looking at a colorful bunch of flowers or my collection of mugs rather than a brightly colored wall. BUT whatever works for you. If you're totally stumped, stir in some green to your surroundings.

Read Your Favorite Romance

Or just your favorite scene in the book. One of my favorites by Susan Elizabeth Phillips is Ain't She Sweet? and I can count on any random page in the book to put a smile on my face. 

Watch Reruns of the Royal Wedding (Balcony Scene)
OK honestly, I haven't tried this myself. But when the Wedding was live on TV, I had no intention of watching it and was in a crappy mood for some reason that I forget now. So I watched it because I did not want to do anything else. After the balcony kisses, I was a fairytale believer again. 

Shake what your Momma gave ya

My dislike for the above phrase aside, DO dance, exercise, mop the floor, jump on the bed - anything that gets you moving. That will loosen up those muscles and your mental clutter too. 

Watch an episode of the The Big Bang Theory Season 4

I wouldn't watch anything else (except something in the same genre) because there is a risk of some character pissing you off even more (Vanessa in Gossip Girl, barf!)

Catch Up on Your Knitting

Practiced and mundane activities, such as knitting or peeling potatoes, are very relaxing. Your mind automatically relaxes with successful completion of "step one, step two, step three, repeat". Ironing works wonders for me. 

There are countless other things that you can do (I can add to the list, let me know) but the above are tried and tested. And also do not put any additional hassle on your already fried brain. Summing up, you gotta give yourself at least half an hour to get back on track and for the wonders to kick in. Ask someone to look after your gorgeous baby for half an hour or if you can't, like me, pick an option from the above that you can do with her. 

Good luck, sweets!

*I LOVE Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, in case you watched the YouTube video linked. Just not when...you know, see first paragraph. :)

Mother's Day - Thoughts

Dear Mum,

Four years ago, I couldn't wait to move out of the house so I could live independently and run things the way that I wanted. Now I spend a great many happy hours devising excuses to land at your place, which I think of as five-star vacationing. I think of the pair of jeans you altered for me in a tight deadline of 5 minutes, my favourite rice that you cook even though it takes half the day, the temper tantrums you still shrug off, half my summer wardrobe that you purchase (eerie how you understand my style), the nightly glass of milk I always forget but you never do... I could go on but you wouldn't be moved - these gestures come so naturally to you; they mean the world to me.

In throes of introspection I realise how much like you I am, and how fortunate that makes me. I love you, you know.

Yours.

Fonts Fetish - Good or bad?

Playing around is rarely a good idea. With fonts, I mean. It proves to be quite as bad as fighting chocolate temptation: just one more font style... and perhaps a little one here too. The Calibri looks too much like Cambria so it really does not make a difference if I surreptitiously slip that one in as well. Not going near Arial or Times New Roman - oh look, they have a Disney font!!

Fonting Away

I love to play with fonts - all sizes, shapes, cursivenesses and angles. I love it when I am not restricted by a particular font in my writing - if nothing else, I'll change the font of the page number to appease my font fetish. Almost each of my posts is a different font (somehow). Fun and fetish aside, could the use of more exciting fonts be distracting to the reader? Or does it add more to the personality of the written piece itself? The 'law' apparently is no more than three fonts in one body of work. Hmm?

I recommend:

For longer write-ups, use two to three complementary fonts for heading, body and any paragraphs you would want the reader to shift focus to. If you're like me, you would want to read something in Century Gothic more than you would like Arial. For a single body of text, do stick to one font as too many can be distracting. Keep the mood in mind do: for example, I wouldn't like Arial (I really do despise it) or Times New Roman (TOO Academic) for a more personal doc. 

For shorter posts - meaning two of them can sneak into the screen space - stick to two fonts: one for the body and one for the heading. More can risk making your work seem too much of a hotchpotch.

Matching your fonts with the topic under discussion is essential. I would also recommend using a lighter background and a stronger font colour for blog posts, especially long ones, as they are easier to read. Your font choices do tell the reader about your personality so have four or five favourites handy. The safe side is always...well safe but adventurism takes you places. :)

Happy fonting up!